just feel better.

JUST FEEL BETTER

She said, I'll feel stranded, And I can't tell anymore
If I'm coming or I'm going
It's not how I planned it, I've got a key to the door
But it just won't open

And I know, I know, I know; Part of me says let it go
That life happens for a reason
But I don't, I don't, I don't; Cause it never worked before
But this time, this time
I'm gonna try anything to just feel better

*chorus*
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through The haze around me
And I'll do anything to just feel better
I can't find my way, God I need a change
And I'll do anything to just feel better
Any little thing to just feel better

She said I need you to hold me, I'm a little far from the shore
And I'm afraid of sinking
You're the only one who knows me, And who doesn't ignore,
That my soul is leaking

And I know, I know, I know; Part of me says let it go
Everything must have its season
Around, around it goes; Everyday's the one before
But this time, this time,
I'm gonna try anything to just feel better

*chorus*
==> Santana feat. Steven Tyler

**********
haay grabe.

what happened to my life?!

its really not supposed to be like this...


argh.

---kzs---

Random Conversations 1

(i was reading my christmas gift to myself, Murakami's Kafka on the Shore... i plop down on the sofa...)

san: kamusta?
kzs: ok lang, its... insane.
san: insane good or insane bad?
kzs: dunno. its like listening to a respected but very old professor's lecture, malalim at feeling mo may sense pero di ka sure, baka drugged lang or senile na yung prof... pero parang naiintindihan mo kahit hindi. is that insane good, or insane bad?
san: but you like it.
kzs: bakit mo nasabi yon?
san: because you like it. you like insane.
kzs: maybe. i'll reserve judgement 'till after i finish it. dito na ko sa part where the 15yr old kid had sex with the 50 yr old lady who might be his mother, tapos the old guy who talks to cats killed Johnny Walker... you do know why i'm telling you this, right?
san: yeah. so that i'll want to read that book. pero tinatapos ko pa nga yung bio ni Watchman Nee di ba? nakakatulog ako eh.
kzs: kung boring eh di dont finish it.
san: i promised myself i would.
kzs: ahhh ok. i understand. its one of those. bagal mo mag basa.
san: so... kamusta na ngayon?
kzs: its insane.

_ _ _ _ _ _

(in the car on the way to bball game, 1-9-06, 8:15 pm)

kzs: chi, ok lang ba sa may Jbee Q.Ave nlang kta i-baba? late na ko...
chi: oo na, oo na.
kzs: sure ka? makakasakay ka ba?
chi: oo nga sabi eh.
kzs: i dont know why i'm going. we havent won a game yet.
chi: ba, malay ko sayo.
kzs: d'you think we'd win if i dedicate the game to you?
chi: uh, no.
kzs: what if i dedicate the game to mom?
chi: ha?
kzs: y'know, maybe if i tell the other team that i'm dedicating the game to "my mother for her birthday" tomorrow, they'll pity us and let us win...
chi: haha.... no.
kzs: bwiset ka. could you at least pray that we'll win this game? or at least one game? crap ka...

_ _ _ _ _ _

(after dinner, the night after mom's bday... and "day 2" na walang tubig ang village...)

ma: (opens the faucet in the bathroom) may konting tubig, bantayan nyo yung balde... sarado nyo kung puno na. (goes to kitchen)
kzs: ma, kuha mo ko cake...
ma: che, tumayo ka. (opens the ref)
kzs: sige na, hati tayo...
san: naririnig lang namin ung aquarium e.
ma: (sits at dining table, eats cake)
kzs: oi! you peeeg!
ma: (mouthful of cake) anong pig? pig ka jan, you oink oink!
san: ... oink oink?
kzs: ... ?!?
kzs: thats not even an insult! mas malala ba yan sa pig?! oink oink?!??? it that even a word?!??
san: yung pig mo parang frenchman... peeeg!
kzs: better than oink oink no.
ma: (tune of Old McDonald had a farm) ... here an oink, there an oink, everyday an oink oink...
kzs: -everyday? di ba everywhere?
ma: ... everywhere an oink oink...
san: ...
ma: mga vocabulary yan ng nanay mo noh, pag di na ko ganyan magsalita hindi na yun yung nanay mo.
san: ok. pag na-kidnap ka ng aliens, tatanungin ka namin kung pano mo kami d-describe...
kzs: (turns to san) patingin nga ulit... parang ang laki lalo ng mata mo sa bago mong salamin... it looks nice. para kang girl.
san: hindi ba ko girl dati?!?
ma: malaki nman talaga mata nyan no. (turns to san) ok na yan, nag-mukha kang mas mature... para ka nang eggxacutive...
san: eggxacutive???
kzs: now that's not even a word!?!! at least "oink" is a word...
ma: (stands up and turns to leave, stops near the bathroom) oi pakinggan nyo yung tubig ha.
san: bakit, may sinasabi ba?

<--- END OF PART ONE --->

---kzs---