Burnout?

I still cant feel ANYTHING.

Ever since school started... I feel like I've been floating through classes... tutorials... life.

The first module is almost over, and I still cant seem to bring myself to care about my grades... I can't feel the TENSION... the STRESS... shit.

I think I had one summer class too many. I should've just applied for leave of absence this year... but I didnt want to be laid back a year from my batch.

I've been unconsciously isolating myself from life in general... getting lost in music and books. When I go through class or walk through UE, my headset is blaring something in my ear... or my head is playing back something I've heard... or I'm thinking about something I've read or seen... that's when people see the "semi-dazed blank look" on my face. and the fact that I was sick the past week and on meds doesnt help.

SOMETHING has to snap soon. Yoko bumagsak ng IAP.
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thanks sa mga bday greetings last week. sorry wla akong ni-rep sa txts. I was sick, I felt crappy and I wasnt in the mood to celebrate.
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I'll let you all in my head a bit...

my sis gave me a cd for my bday... this is one of the songs in it. the one that keeps giving me the Last Song Syndrome (LSS)...

Kill -Jimmy Eat World

You're just across the street
Looks a mile to my feet
I want to go to you
Funny how I'm nervous still
I've always been the easy kill
I guess I always will

Could it be that everything goes around by chance
Or only one way that it was always meant to be
You kill me
You always know
the perfect thing to say
I know what I should do but I just can't walk away

I can picture your face well
From the bar in my hotel
I wish I'd go to you
I pick up, put down the phone
Like your favorite Heatmiser song goes:
'It's just like being alone...'

Oh God, please don't tell me this has been in vain
I need answers for what all the waiting I've done means
You kill me
You've got some nerve
but can't face your mistakes
I know what I should do but I just can't turn away

I can't help it baby
This is who I am
Sorry but I can't just go
turn off how I feel
You kill me
You build me up but just to watch me break
I know what I should do but I just can't walk away.

and no, im not in love nor mooning over some guy. hahaha. LSS lang to. I got enough problems of my own, 40% of which are imaginary...

---kzs---